Are you heading home for Christmas? The 2023 holiday season gives us a little extra time to see family this year, with the working week ending on Friday 22 December. So, many adult children will be considering making long journeys to see or stay with aging parents and relatives in their own homes.

Whether it’s just for a meal, a day or a week-long stay, we are bound to notice changes in these homes that we often know and love so well. As any adult child who lives a distance from their aging parent/s will know, things can appear to stay the same yet rarely do. There will be tell-tale signs to look out for that could reveal that senior parents are not coping as well as they used to

We’ve updated our article this year into two articles, to help you spot the signs. If you think they are not coping, you can gently enquire and see what your parent/s or senior relative thinks. You can then talk with all the family as to how to help senior relatives to live longer in their own homes in comfort and safety.

Subtle changes

When you walk through the door this holiday season, if something isn’t quite as it was, take notice. This isn’t about the inevitable list of DIY/outside jobs that all senior parents stack up for a visit by someone younger and fitter. (See, you are not alone!) This is about lifestyle and environmental changes, such as:

• Is the house as clean as Mom used to keep it?
• Is there fresh food in the fridge?
• Do Dad’s clothes look like they need a good wash?
• Are there piles of clothes or papers on every surface?
  

Christmas is the perfect opportunity to gently look around, assess what your loved ones might need, and start thinking of solutions to enable them to live longer in a home they love.

What to look for

It’s important to be realistic about what you are seeing, and to consider the root causes. Vytality at Home founder Nicole suggests six different areas to look at:

• Home Environment
• Kitchen – cleanliness, tidiness, food storage
• Balance
• Changes in Personal Hygiene and Appearance
• Cognitive Changes
• Changes in Behavior
  All these may be indications that your parents or relatives might need some extra help with everyday life.

In this article, we’ll look at the first two:

• Home Environment
• The Kitchen

THE HOME ENVIRONMENT

If your loved ones have a house rather than an apartment, there can be signs to look out for from the moment you arrive.

• Is any recent snow cleared from their driveway or section of sidewalk?
• Does the front yard look tidy or overgrown?
• Are there external decorations up if that’s what they have one in the past?
• Do the doors, windows, roof and paintwork look in good condition?
• Is the car neatly parked?

And two to put into your mind for later:

• How easy is it to get from the car into the house?
• How many steps are there into the house?

For apartments, it’s a little more difficult to spot, but check about those access steps, the elevator and the emergency route in case of fire.

Inside the home
One of the key indicators of mobility is how quickly and easily senior relatives / parents can open the door for you. So try and restraint the kids from rushing through the door in a flurry of snow and excitement (easier said than done we now!) and make a mental note.

Once inside, check out the hallways and corridors. Are they clutter-free and easy to walk down with your overnight bags or suitcases or boxes of presents? If it’s not easy for you, then it won’t be easy for anyone carrying a load of laundry, for example.

Mobility, mobility, mobility
As you may have realized by now, what you are looking out for are signs of decreased abilities in terms of moving around and performing manual tasks. If as a senior you are less steady on your feet, you are less likely to be able to pick up and carry something (regardless of size or weight from one room to another). Look for other smaller signs of this being an issue such as:

• Items laid down on easily accessible surfaces such as tables, chairs and furniture because bending down to the floor or putting it back in the cupboard is awkward.
• Laundry piling up because it is too heavy to lift a full load, and it has to be done in smaller batches, not because it’s been forgotten about.
• Clothes slipped off hangers in wardrobes and are tricky to retrieve, so they are simply not worn.

Memory or mobility?

It’s also important to try and spot the difference between declining mobility and memory loss. For example, shopping lists and telephone numbers may be written on pieces of paper around the house because it’s too difficult or too much effort to carry the address book AND the phone AND the notepad from one room to another. Also, think how many numbers you actually know off by heart, rather than looking the details on your cell phone. Speed dial numbers for family and friends on a home phone can be a genuine help with this.

If you’re finding piles of correspondence and bills, this will need addressing. More about this in our next blog.

Think mobility

So if you’re visiting loved ones this Christmas, keep your eyes open and think – mobility. Try and think about how they move about, not you. If your senior relatives have always had stuff in their corridors, that’s fine when they are younger and able to move around them. However, aging relatives and parents may lose their mobility gradually due to age, or suddenly due to an illness, and suddenly it’s far less easy to move around boxes or stacks of books. What was just a box suddenly may become a trip hazard.

A Christmas gift of home care

Some older parents don’t like to be “told” they need home care, (or any help at all!) So why not give them a Christmas gift of a home care visit to give them a helping hand? With a capable, cheery person helping them in their own home, your loved ones can experience for themselves the difference it makes. Contact us to discuss:

• Call us
• Email us
• Book a initial consultation

THE KITCHEN

A look around the kitchen can reveal so much in terms of declining mobility. Do bear in mind that now the family have long since grown up, your parents may not actually cook nearly as much or as often as they did. The whole dynamic of the kitchen may have changed, and they might just need some help to sort things out.

Food storage
If we discover out of date food in our parents’ kitchen, we may jump to the ‘worst case scenario’. We may assume that food is out of date in the freezer or on the kitchen shelves because they have forgotten about it. Therefore, we may assume it’s about memory loss and impaired cognitive ability. In fact, it may be due to the more straightforward issue of decreased mobility.

If seniors can’t reach up to a shelf anymore because of, say, a stiff shoulder, arthritis or lack of balance, any tinned food on that shelf is inaccessible. It will just sit there and go out of date.
The same applies to getting food from the bottom of a chest freezer, or bending down to see what’s hiding at the back or on the top fridge shelf.

Is cooking a chore?
Many adult children worry that their aging parents might not be eating as well as they would. Your parents may say that they just don’t eat ss much or feel hungry. Whilst this may be so, there may be other underlying causes, including physical limitations.

• If limited mobility means they can’t reach into the bottom or the back of the freezer, they are not going to eat those tasty ready meals you kindly bought last time you visited.
• If they can’t lift large bags of shopping anymore, they’ll shop in smaller batches so they can carry them more easily. So the fridge may contain less food that it did when you lived at home.
• They may not want to stand at a stove for long periods of time making complicated dishes, and rely more on pre-prepared meals which take a lot less preparation time.
• If they are living on their own, cooking may become one chore too many and they might skip meals. This reduces their nutritional intake and may result in weight loss and an unbalanced diet.

Again, this is where home care services can help. Our team here at Vytality at Home are more than happy to help with preparing meals. Most of our clients love this service, as it gives them a break from cooking and the washing up! Our caregivers can also help with ordering groceries, and making sure that what is delivered is put away such that it’s easy to reach and use.

A clean kitchen
You may also have concerns about food safety if you feel the kitchen had not been properly cleaned. Again, look to see what has been cleaned. If it’s the front of the worktop, the sink and other easily accessible areas, then it’s likely to be mobility. If it’s generally dirty with dishes stacking up it might be a sign of a more deep-rooted lack of interest.

The good news here is that all of that can be solved with a little domestic cleaning once a week. Our caregivers can combine caregiving with light housework, so that there’s always time for a chat as well as a clean!

Mobility and medical help

If your senior relatives are having difficulties with mobility and balance, check if they are receiving medical help. If not, make sure they visit their family physician as soon as possible to be checked out and receive the help and support that is available just for the asking.

Independent living in their own home

Remember, decreasing mobility does NOT mean the end to independent living or living at home. Aging in Place is a government priority to help seniors live in their own homes for longer. As their own website says:

“Aging in place means having the health and social supports and services you need to live safely and independently in your home or your community for as long as you wish and are able.”

Homecare is a central pillar of Aging in Place planning. So perhaps the best gift you can give your senior relatives this Christmas is help taking those first steps towards an Aging in Place plan with Vytality at Home.

Call us at 403 476 3680 or a free, no obligation home consultation visit, where we can discuss your concerns and requirements, and discuss a home care plan tailor-made for your loved ones.

Look out too for our next article when we’ll look at the other areas:

• Changes in Personal Hygiene and Appearance
• Cognitive Changes
• Changes in Behavior
• Balance

Christmas